Brock Boeser Twitter Analysis

Sure, advanced stats can tell you certain things about a player, but they can’t tell you everything. In order to full understand a hockey prospect, you have to dive into their twitter account. That’s right, this is the first in a series of articles on… Twitalytics.

Brock Boeser Twitacized:

Wrong, sock season is the best season.

Correct, everyone knows pig racing is the only thing that makes them worthwhile.

Pretty god damn neat.

Henrik Sedin is a well known nap disturber. Learn to sleep with a tazer in your hand.

Not good. Not good.

I’m still not over that sweatpants decision, I can’t even analyze this one properly.

OK, you’re a Canuck now, you have to learn to hate the Rangers. It’s going to be hard, but you’ll have to do it.

STOP IT.

Did you wear shorts for this weather? Your attire choice is all over the map!

This isn’t your fault. Disney World is a soulless place meant to trap you, and more importantly, your wallet. Why are there 68 stores, all selling the same things? Why do their turkey legs taste like ham? Why is their futuristic house from 2002??

Yes. That is YOUR puck. Nobody else can touch your puck.

Brad Marchand. Remember this name. Utilize this power on him.

Did…did you watch past season one?

You can buy one in Vancouver one day. For 40 million dollars.

Good. Good.

It’s god damn delicious.

Final Analysis:

Questionable clothing choices, likes the Rangers too much, but enjoys chocolate milk and has a healthy (and well deserved) distrust of Disneyland. Boeser’s TCS (Twitter Cohort Success Model) has him between Torey Krug and Ryan Miller.

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