Life of a Blogger – Rambling mode activated

I assume most of you know my main “job” on twitter is talking about the Canucks. I tweet about hockey for around 85% of my tweets and I write about them for The Province Sports. For the most part, it’s an awesome gig. Are there drawbacks? Sure there are. Not getting paid for doing a ton of work, that wears on you after a while. Overall, though, the positive of getting a press pass probably makes the entire thing worth it as it allows me access to the players, and gives me a bit of credibility.

Credibility, which is the bloggers worst nemesis. Case in point, I got this tweeted at me tonight:

tweet

Now, this could have been done in jest, it could have been fun sarcasm. The internet is notorious for creating situations where sarcasm goes undetected. Or it could have been him being a straight up asshole, I just don’t know. Either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is there are people who think like this, and there are people who view me poorly because of my blogger status.

Normally, I keep it all to myself. For the most part, I don’t react to a ton of stuff, I just take it in stride. People are going to say a lot of things about you in life, and not everybody is going to enjoy your personality, so for the most part, I am fine with just walking it off.

However, I might as well write my thoughts down once, just in case anyone is ever curious about my stance and view on things. Maybe only 2 people will read this (maybe I will hit refresh twice by accident and nobody will have read it) but I might as well use this as my personal therapy to wash off any resentment I may have built up.

Fun Facts About Me

– As with many writers, I constantly hate my own stuff and doubt my writing all the time

– I like to try different styles and projects to test my creativity, hence some of my articles will appear truly random

– I don’t have a massive ego. I don’t think I made it as a Province blogger due to some innate immense out of this world natural talent. I think I got an opportunity and I worked my ass off for it, of which I am very proud of. I do feel I can write at a decent level, which helps. I do not, however, look down on others or feel people are beneath me. Many people could do this job, I just happen to have got the gig right now, so I will enjoy the ride and work my ass off to keep doing it for as long as I am wanted.

– I love hockey. I really do.

– I love writing. I really do.

– I love talking to people on twitter and cracking jokes and talking about sports and whatever.

Those facts combined have made me what I am today in my “blogger” career. I know some people won’t like my style, and that’s totally fine. There are tons of other options for you to follow for sports. If you like your sports super serious, there are several options to choose from. Hell, just download the Canucks Ap, or TSN ap, and update your scores, and voila, you now have sports updates devoid of any humor.

The problem I have is when people look down on me as some random blogger due to my humorous styling. As if the fact I write in a comedic way and cover more light hearted fare puts me on the bottom of some phantom sports writing ladder.

I am not here to cover sports in a super serious way. Again, if that’s your thing, there are many other options available to you. God speed my friend. If I covered sports the same way, my tweets would just be me updating the Canucks scores.

“Henrik makes it 1-0.”

“Daniel makes it 2-0”

“Luongo makes a nice pad save.”

“Correction, it glanced off his blocker before hitting his pad, so it was a blocker save.”

It’s just not my style. I can and will do serious stories when they come up, but for the most part, the Province already has a ton of guys (plus other papers do too) covering the sports that way. I have been told on many occasions from my Province boss “I have 8 guys who cover the Canucks like that, we don’t want you doing that.” So I don’t.

I would prefer to do stories you don’t see everyday. Like for me, my biggest question after the Columbus game last week wasn’t “Did you guys give it 100%” or “Do you think this game is something you can build on?” it was “Hey Sestito, could you see through your jersey when you knocked out Foligno or was it a lucky punch?” The small nuances of hockey? That is the stuff I enjoy and is the kind of stuff that doesn’t often get asked. I would rather be the weird guy in the room asking odd questions over the guy piecing together if the Canucks stuck to the process enough.  Hell, one of my favorite articles I wrote last year was talking to Andrew Squared (Andrew Ebbett and Andrew Alberts) about their beards. It’s off the beaten path and it amused me.

Due to this, some people write me off as some pants-less blogger who doesn’t deserve a media pass. I find this odd because I know hockey, it’s not like I am googling how to talk hockey. Just because I enjoy hockey and like reporting on it a certain way, doesn’t mean I am some lowly piece of garbage who doesn’t deserve a press pass.

The funny thing about it is when I use my media pass, I act like all the other journalists. I keep my head down, I respect the rules, and I don’t ruffle feathers. I don’t run into the dressing room after a horrible loss, wearing no pants, demanding Daniel tell me if he has to fart in bed at night, does he do it under the covers or does he pretend he has to pee so he can fart away from his wife.

Oddly enough, I know how to behave and I know how to follow rules.  Shocking, I know.

And that’s another funny thing about this entire situation. The entire press row environment can be very stuffy. It’s almost like a game up there of “who can pretend to hate hockey the most” sometimes. It’s like if you take even the slightest enjoyment out of the game, somehow you’ve lost and you can’t be counted on as a credible reporter.

The thing is, again, I love hockey. I love good hockey plays. Oddly enough, I can go from screaming about a crazy awful stupid pass in overtime to writing about it 10 minutes later without emotion clouding my judgement.

Again, shocking, I know.

I just love hockey but I also know the time and the place to inject enthusiasm into my pieces, and I know when to take that out of them. I know the time and the place to ask players silly questions for light hearted articles. That time and place is not after a 3-2 loss to the LA Kings in OT.  Just because I enjoy a good fight in hockey and go “Hell yeah, what a fight!” shouldn’t mark me as some sort of lowly blogger.

At the end of the day, like I said, some people will hate me, some will like me. I will go on, they will go on, we will be fine. I just find it amusing when people paint me as a “blogger” as if it is some sort of insult that should detract away my credibility in hockey. Sure, go after my journalistic skills (I am terrible at asking cliched questions as a means to an end of getting actual information, this is a legit skill I am not good at) but to say my hockey knowledge is somehow tainted by the fact I enjoy hockey and joke around about it? That makes no sense to me.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr. This chair be high, says I.

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Raw Review – November 26, 2013

Roman-Reigns-Spear

Coming off of a pretty poor showing in Survivor Series, I was curious to see how the Raw right after would unfold. Would the WWE continue to shit in my mouth and tell me it was ice cream?

Yes, yes they would.

Raw Review:

– Raw started off with Randy Orton coming down to the ring. But Wyatt, you ask, where is HHH? Don’t worry, any Raw can’t go longer than 5 minutes without HHH appearing, so he made sure to make his way down to the ring almost immediately.

– The events unfolded as such:

1) Randy Orton brags about beating Big Show (makes sense)

2) Randy Orton yells at HHH and Stephanie about interfering in the match (makes no sense in that once again, what the fuck is HHH? A heel? A good guy? Why is the main bad guy with the belt at odds with HHH?)

3) Crowd is chanting for Daniel Bryan this entire time

4) John Cena comes out instead

5) I punch my table in disgust

6) John Cena points out how the crowd wants Daniel Bryan. I get a brief glimmer of hope. “Maybe Cena will somehow get Bryan back into the title picture?? Maybe Cena is going to somehow bring up how Bryan should be in the main event picture??”

7) Cena pulls down his shorts and dumps in my mouth. He uses the fact that the crowd is chanting for Bryan as a symbol of the fans being sick of The Authority. He then goes on to say there should be only one champion, so why doesn’t Orton fight him to unite the titles?

8) I pause for a moment go get over the horseshit Cena just pulled. The crowd loves them some Bryan and somehow Cena tries to use that to justify himself being in the main event. Yes, because the crowd chanting for Bryan was desperately looking for Cena to represent them. Good christ.

9) HHH, who knows what the fuck he is doing at this point, says they will unite the titles at the TLC PPV in three weeks. Or Stephanie said it. I don’t know. They share a similar build, I don’t know which is which anymore. At one point HHH told Orton to grow up and dressed him down verbally, which again, what the fuck are we doing here guys?

The good news about the title unification is that it might mean John Cena doesn’t have to win the Rumble and ruin it for me. I initially thought HHH would be against unifying the titles, thus forcing Cena to win the Rumble to get the shot at uniting the titles, but that doesn’t appear to be the case.

The bad news is they seemingly have given themselves only 3 weeks to build up a story line for what should be one of the biggest story lines in their businesses history as of late. The other bad news is that they might pull the old screwjob finish for the umpeenth time in a row at TLC, leaving us with no resolution except to have more Orton and Cena. This is never a good time.

Anyways, that segment ended and on we went to:

The Shield vs Rhodes Brothers and Fat Mysterio

Shockingly, shockingly, Mysterio no longer jumps up from the ground for his entrance. Now he waddles in from the back.

The match itself was pretty good, and once again it showcased Roman Reigns spearing people. The Shield got the win after Ambrose pinned Rhodes (and Ambrose did the weirdest looking pin to do it. He looked like he was dancing as he went to pin Rhodes.)

It was during this match that I realized I could watch Reigns spear people all day. All of the time. The Shield is one of the best things Raw has going for it.

As for Goldust, he continues to be super over with the crowd, and Rhodes continues his solid work. The tag titles have kind of gotten lost on the Rhodes brothers, but titles mean nothing in WWE unless John Cena holds it, so this probably isn’t a big surprise. Fat Mysterio did some fun moves and got speared, which is pretty much how Mysterio will be used at this point in his career.

The Miz’s show thing with guest Michael Strahan

The Miz, who resembles Kermit the Frog in college (you know, a Kermit the Frog that drinks too much and cheats on Miss Piggy and generally makes a bunch of stupid faces), had his stupid Miz show.

Miz introduces Strahan, but out comes Titus O’Neil (whom I am a huge fan of, go Prime Time Players!) dressed as Strahan. Titus pretends to be Strahan, Miz makes a joke about his gap teeth, then Strahan comes down. Then all three of them have one of the more awkward conversations you will see on TV (Except for Titus. Everything he does is gold). Somehow this ends up with Miz telling Strahan he wants to hip toss him, but Strahan blocks it. Titus tries the hip toss, Strahan blocks it. Strahan then hip tosses Miz. Titus celebrates with Strahan and then Strahan hip tosses Titus. Then all three guys get up and hug each other and thank the crowd.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

IS

THIS

SHIT.

Holy mother of fuck, why in gods name did this segment have to happen on live TV. Keep that shit for the local New York crowd only. Dear god. It made zero sense. Miz, who they turned heel, kind of, sort of, kind of acts like a heel, but then hugs it out at the end. This segment was one David Arquette title win away from being the biggest load of shit I have seen in a while. And it was a long segment, I need to stress that. This wasn’t some quick little promo, they talked for a while. About nothing. It was garbage.

The only redeeming part of it (aside from Titus, who as mentioned earlier can do no wrong) was Miz trying to do his “really?” catch phrase, but Strahan cut him off, most likely because he had no idea it was a catch phrase. It was beautiful.

Curtis Axel and Ryback vs Mark Henry and Big E Langston

Curtis Axel , who has lost decidedly in two matches against Big E, continues their feud because….well, I guess because people need a break to go buy John Cena t-shirts. Mark Henry continues the feud he already did with Ryback, but this time set in late 2013, because….crack. Because someone on the WWE writing staff smokes crack.

The match was what you would expect. Henry won it with his finisher on Axel. Part of me died inside knowing that both these “feuds” will most likely continue into TLC.

Total Diva vs Random Divas and AJ

This was honestly the exact same match as the one they had on the PPV on Sunday. Except a day later. Dropkicks still pinning people. Glancing elbows? That’s a finisher. Doing the splits? Finisher. Doing something kind of fancy looking with your tag partner? Finisher.

Let’s not lie, this match was done again purely for the Total Divas crowd that are casual wrestling fans. The Total Diva crowd that loves that show but wouldn’t pay a dime for Survivor Series but MIGHT tune into Monday Night Raw? This was for them. It was the usual poor Divas match you would expect with the lone bright spot being the female Roman Reigns Tamina showing off Chyna like power, and AJ Lee, who is the only Diva with legitimate charisma in the ring.

Who won? Not you. That’s all that matters. You didn’t win if you saw this match.

Dolph Ziggler vs Damien Sandow – Hardcore match

– Decent match with Ziggler selling his opponents moves like the boss that he is. Sandow, one of the few true heels on the roster, took the win over Ziggler, in what is probably a good idea. For whatever reason the WWE has soured on Ziggler (despite having the biggest pop in WWE in years when he cashed in his Money in the Bank for the World title) so they might as well use Ziggler to push Sandow, who has a ton of potential. At this point I was just super excited to see someone actually play the role of the bad guy and not have HHH come out and high five the guy and hug him before making fun of him and then chastising him.

As with all hardcore matches nowadays, they were very careful with their use of hardcore, so no wrestlers were harmed in the making of this match.

Random Backstage Segment

Eric Rowan, he who wears the sheep mask, randomly shows up and hands Strahan a mask. Strahan puts on the mask and then Rowan walks away. Santino then says something irrelevant.

I get that they are again pushing merch on people (“Oh, I want to buy the mask Strahan is wearing!!!”) but don’t use the Wyatt family for this. Their entire thing is that they are removed from everything else and are these super weird, super aggressive guys. It ruins the image of them to have them randomly handing out masks. They should be beating up Strahan and possibly eating him. They should not be handing him a mask that is barely hiding a price tag of $12.99.

Punk and Bryan vs The Wyatt Family

Punk and Bryan, I do have to admit, I love watching them work together. They are the best in the company and it’s just exciting to see what they can do together. Part of me is sad knowing that the fact I am seeing them together means they aren’t in the main event, but still, it’s fun to watch them in the ring and to see where this Wyatt storyline is taking them.

That being said, the match went down as you’d expect (DQ finish) except this time the Wyatt family took Bryan with them when they left.

This is neat in that I have no idea where this is headed. Are they brainwashing Bryan? Are they kidnapping him and taking him out of storylines for a while? I like it when I don’t know what they are going to do.

The problem with this is that they kidnapped Kane the same way, and instead of returning as a brainwashed minion of the Wyatt family (which is the vibe they were giving off, that cult feel), Kane came back and was promoted to Director of Operations…. So yeah. The Wyatt Family kidnapping you seems to mean you get a raise and a nice new suit?

Anyways, CM Punk saw this happening and went to save him

ROMAN REIGNS SPEAR.

I laughed SO hard when this happened because I honestly thought earlier “I could watch Reigns spear people all day” and lo and behold, there he was spearing Punk. The Shield then took Punk into the ring and triple power bombed him.

This makes no sense of course. I have no idea why the Shield is after Punk, but then again, the Shields tenuous theme of “justice” is bullshit at the best of times, so I assume they just wanted to power bomb somebody.

The interesting dynamic of this is that it once again kind of crosses the streams of the Shield and the Wyatt family, which looks to be the ultimate direction for these groups. So color me intrigued by where this storyline is headed.

Kofi vs Miz

Let’s pretend this didn’t happen.

Xavier Woods vs Heath Slater

For some unknown reason Xavier Woods (introduced by ex tag partner R Truth) made his WWE singles debut using Brodus Clay’s entrance. Complete with Funkadactyls.

To Xavier’s credit, he pulled off the entrance better than Clay has ever done it, but still, what in the fuck? Why would you bring him out to Clay’s entrance theme and dancing gimmick? What in the fuckity fuck? Good god WWE sucks balls some times.

Regardless, Xavier picked up the win over Man Boobs Slater. Huzzah.

Big Show and John Cena vs Randy Orton and Del Rio

Oh I forgot to mention, during the Miz segment Strahan announced the main event. I forgot to mention it because the crowd didn’t give a shit. In fact, they booed it. Nothing says solid writing like mid carders in Punk and Daniel getting the biggest cheers while your big main event gets booed. Anyways.

As you would expect, Cena wins. A fucking gain. Every single time. This time was awesome because Cena locked on his garbage submission, the one where he makes a face looking like he just orgasmed, and Del Rio tapped out in around two seconds. Cena then survived an attack from behind by Del Rio and AA’d Del Rio, just in case anyone had any shred of thought that Del Rio might be anywhere near Cena’s level. Cena, being the good guy that he is, FINALLY relented and let Orton hit him with the belt and stand over him, posing with both titles. I assume now that Cena will need 30 straight wins in order to fully pay him back for allowing Orton to have the upper hand for even a second over Cena.

Final Thoughts

This was a gong show. But not a good gong show. It was just lazy, messy writing. The few highlights (ROMAN REIGNS SPEAR! Bryan and Punk) were overshadowed by the other 2 and half hours of shit we had to sift through just to see it. I don’t like baseless feuds with no storylines being drawn out over multiple PPV’s. I don’t enjoy matches from the PPV being replayed the next night as a “new” match. I don’t like the WWE using all of Bryan’s momentum and giving him none of the credit. It just sucks.

Anyways, as always, I will continue watching and hope things turn around next week. There is always next week. As a Canucks fan I am used to this style of thinking at least.

2013 Survivor Series Review

surv2

I walked into this PPV thinking it would be mediocre, so I didn’t have the greatest hopes for it. This is due to the fact that the WWE doesn’t even both doing storylines for anything except the stuff HHH happens to be doing at any given time. Though I guess CM Punk still gets a reasonable storyline here and there, even if that storyline is just him vs Paul Heyman for the seventeenth time….

Still, I walked into the PPV hoping the WWE would find a way to get me excited about the next few months of programming leading up to my favorite PPV of the year, the Royal Rumble. Did they succeed? Read on to find out.

The Miz vs Kofi Kingston – Miz wins

Why do we care about this match? The entire basis of this match was the fact The Miz turned heel last week (nobody saw) by not tagging into a match when Kofi came to the corner looking for a tag. Of course since the WWE is in 100% John Cena mixed reaction mode now, where they find it seemingly impossible to commit people to being pure heels or babyfaces, they had The Miz explain his actions by saying he did it because both he and Kofi deserve to be stars, that they should both be showing everyone what they can do in the ring, that they shouldn’t be mired in tag team action. Yeah. The match opened with Miz offering a handshake to Kofi, which we all assumed would be the heel moment where Miz slapped him or gave him a cheap shot, but no, he floated that god damn Cena line by randomly being good and randomly being a heel, and simply shook Kofi’s hand as if he was a good sport.

The match was an average Miz match you see on Raw all the time, it was nothing special. Miz screwed up his figure four as usual, but eventually got the win with a roll up. After the match, again because heaven forbid the Miz go full heel here, Miz offered a hand shake to Kofi, but Kofi slapped the Miz instead of taking his hand.

So even in a shitty, put together at the last minute story line, the WWE has again failed to establish good or bad. Do we boo Kofi next time? Cheer Kofi? Boo Miz? Ugh.

Match was 2 out of 5 stars.

Curtis Axel vs Big E Langston (IC Champion) – Big E wins

Curtis Axel is a sub par wrestler. His reign with the IC title was very forgettable, though to be fair to Curtis, 90% of the IC title reigns have been forgettable the last several years due to the fact it’s never given a really decent storyline or feud. Still, one would hope natural talent would allow at least some interesting moments during a title reign, but no, Axel is boring in the ring, and below average on the mic. The crowd is usually dead for his matches due to the fact his offence is tepid and he struggles to draw the crowd in with his charisma.

As a result, Big E winning the title last week was a good thing, because at least it gives the title to someone else to see what they can do with it. The sad thing about the IC title was that the storyline behind Big E and Curtis was again just kind of thrown together, so paying to watch these two fight on a PPV feels like a rip off because nobody really has any reason to care about it. The IC title has no luster anymore, so simply fighting for the title means jack shit, and the feud between the two men hasn’t been built up, so there is no reason to watch it for any sort of pay off.

The worst part of this match? It was basically the exact same match as the one they had on TV last week when Big E won the title in the first place. Seriously, the finishing sequence was the exact same sequence they used in the last match. So basically they didn’t even bother putting together a new match, they recycled an old one THEY JUST HAD.

The match itself was below average, it was a 2 out of 5 star match. Though Big E needs to stop taking his boobs out as a signal he is going for his finisher. It disturbs me.

After the match Big E took the mic and sucked up to the Boston crowd, which is odd, considering the WWE struggles to define roles lately.

Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Rey Mysterio and The Usos vs. The Shield and The Real Americans – Shield and RA wins

The one traditional Survivor Series match on the card. It was one of the best fights on the card and had several good spots throughout. The storyline behind it wasn’t the deepest, but at least the Rhodes Brothers and the Usos have some history with the Shield, and it’s nice to see a survivor series style match actually be on the PPV.

The three highlights of the match for me:

-Goldust continuing to wrestle like a boss. The dude has never looked better and the crowd loves him. It’s been exciting to watch him on this run. I still remember when he first burst on the scene and began sexually harassing Razor Ramon. How far we’ve come….

– Cesaro’s swing move is one of the most over moves in the company. The fans start counting each rotation he does now. The crowd really gets into it. It’s a bit odd for a heel to have such an over move and to use it to get a positive reaction from the crowd, but that is the WWE’s MO as of late. Still, Cesaro did a swing of about 18-20 rotations on each Uso and it brought the crowd to their feet.

– Roman Reigns will be a world champion sooner rather than later. The WWE loves his size and they pushed him hard in this match, as he got four eliminations with his spear finisher. Even though it seems like everyone in the WWE has a spear, Reigns is the best at making it look devastating. The WWE has pushed big guys in the past due purely to their size (they love their big men) but at least this time Reigns isn’t some muppet in the ring, he has actual talent, and he has that Lesnar quality of making his offence look really really painful, which makes him fun to watch.

The WWE has been planting subtle seeds as of late of the Shield possibly having issues. At one point last month Ambrose mentioned how he is the only guy in the Shield left with a title (which caused Rollins and Reigns to look upset with him), and in this match Ambrose was eliminated right away. It could lead to a situation with Ambrose claiming he is the best Shield member while the Shield members point out he was first one eliminated sort of deal. Keep an eye out on it.

Match was 3.5 out of 5 stars.

AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Kaitlyn, Rosa Mendes, Aksana and Alicia Fox vs. JoJo Offerman, Eva Marie, Natalya, The Funkadactlys and The Bellas – I think Nattie won

I got a hot dog during this match but I believe Nattie won. The diva division is a joke (except for AJ, she does a great job) so I don’t really care what happens in it. It’s honestly being used as background noise for Total Divas more than anything as of late. This match doesn’t make the PPV if it wasn’t for Total Divas being so successful, let’s not lie.

Still, if watching a match where a successfully landed drop kick can lead to a pin, then this might have been the match for you!

0 stars out of 5.

Ryback’s Open Challenge – Taken up by a returning Mark Henry – Henry wins

Ryback openly challenged anyone on the roster, and Mark Henry made his return. They fought their usual slow paced match with Henry winning with his slam. Again, another match with no background or basis.

1 star out of 5.

CM Punk and Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan – DB and CM Punk win

On paper this looked like it would be the best match of the night and lo and behold it was. Punk and Bryan are the best wrestlers on the roster, and Rowan and Harper do a good job wrestling as big men (Luke Harper might be the best out of the three of Wyatt, Rowan and himself, to be honest).

Unfortunately the WWE stuck to the tag match formula of making you know nothing of use was going to happen until the “hot tag” was made (the situation where one good guy gets beat up and isolated from his corner before heroically making his way back to his partner for the tag, where the partner then goes on to clean house), but the match took off after the hot tag. Good spots from both Bryan and Punk, and like I said, Harper has a solid base of power moves in his arsenal, plus he makes really weird noises in the ring, really lending to the creepy vibe the Wyatt family gives off.

End sequence saw Bryan nail Rowan with his finishing knee, allowing Punk to hit GTS on Harper (although the GTS continues to look like shit when Punk has to do it to a big man. I’m sorry, but the GTS is a move meant for lightweights on lightweights, it looks like garbage on big men) for the win.

After the match Bray Wyatt teased getting into the ring but eventually he backed off and walked to the back, letting us know this feud is far from over.

Match gets 4 stars out of 5

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio – Cena wins 

This match could have been the best wrestled match of all time, and it still wouldn’t get five stars from me due to the fact that nobody believed for one second that Del Rio had any chance of winning.

The match itself was ok (Cena actually did some new moves), but it followed the traditional route of Cena getting the crap beat out of him only to magically pull out his god damn AA for the win.

Seriously, I have never seen a crowd less invested in a match then this one. Even John Cena fans in the front row, fans who one would assume paid a ton of money for those front row seats to see John Cena, were bored and spent the match texting or looking at their phones. Nobody believes Cena will lose (because he doesn’t) so there is no point of watching his matches. This makes any build up for a Cena match quite useless because again, the majority of the time Cena’s opponents have zero chance of winning, so nobody gives a shit about his storylines (unless you’re 5-12 years old, in which case you love his god damn bright t-shirts).

Match was 2.5 stars out of 5.

Randy Orton vs. Big Show – Randy Orton wins

Christ, I can’t believe this is a main event of a PPV.

Randy Orton is not my cup of tea, nor is Big Show. I tend to find Big Show and Orton need to be used in a specific way for them to really shine, but putting them together is not such a way. The match itself was sloppy as hell, with Big Show screwing up several spots (Randy tried his DDT move with Show’s feet hanging off the top ropes, but Show slipped and fell off), and at one point Randy tried running out of the ring to escape Show, but ended up nutting himself on the bottom rope instead). It was a poorly wrestled match.

The end came when HHH’s music hit and he walked on stage with Kane and Stephanie, which distracted Show, leading to Orton giving him the RKO, followed up by the punt to the head.

The show didn’t end there, though, as John Cena walked out and raised his title and seemingly threw the gauntlet down that he was going to come for Orton. Yay?

Match was 1 star out of 5.

Final Thoughts

I know this review comes across pretty negative, but I’m sorry, the WWE can do so much better, so I find it hard to sift through the shit they offer me in the hopes of finding some golden nuggets for the future. Here are just some of the problems the WWE has right now, as highlighted by this PPV:

– Shitty story telling. If it isn’t a HHH storyline, it doesn’t get a back story. Seriously, how hard is it to come up with a basic feud for some of the roster? Even if it’s a simple case of “this dude stole my car!” kind of storyline, where it’s a basic basic feud, why not do it? Why force a Miz vs Kingston feud that nobody gives a shit about? Build up a feud more than one week, actually spend time on some of the other people on the roster.

– Too much HHH. Seriously, he started the PPV, and he ended the PPV. You god damn retired HHH, stop making yourself the central focus of everything like you always used to.

– If HHH is so intent upon being the central theme of everything, learn how to be a god damn heel again. HHH can be a very very effective heel. He is not an effective heel right now, though. As I wrote earlier, he likes to blur the lines of being a cocky good guy mixed with being a cocky bad guy, so as a result, the fans have no idea what’s going on. For instance tonight HHH came out and started off the PPV with a speech about nobody interfering in any matches (physically), and then did his “Are you readyyyyyyyyy” tag line.

You’re a god damn heel you stupid son of a bitch. Don’t do your face shit when you’re a god damn heel. Christ.

– John Cena going after Orton looks like the start of a potential title unification. While unifying the titles isn’t a bad idea (the World title acts like a super IC title right now anyways), I wish it wasn’t Orton vs Cena doing it. We’ve seen Cena vs Orton before many many times. I don’t think it’s the right storyline to be pushing now.

My worst fear is that Cena wants to unify titles, but HHH tries to prevent him from doing so, so Cena goes on to win the Rumble so he can force a unification bought.

I love the Royal Rumble. I hate John Cena. Don’t let Cena win my Rumble.

– WWE is more concerned with marketing now. It’s depressing as shit to see mid carders being used on a PPV to sell merch. This time it was Fandango, R Truth, Santino and a couple others that were playing with WWE toys during a segment. It’s depressing that selling toys to kids has become a bigger focus than the actual wrestling itself.

– The fans chanted “BORING” for many chunks of the Show/Orton match. It was not a good match nor was it ever going to be a good match. Orton and Show do not have good chemistry. It just further saddens me that Bryan, still one of the most over guys in the company, has been discarded from the title scene in favor of Show.

– The WWE needs competition. Tonight’s card would NEVER have happened if they had a hot WCW style product competing against them. The WWE is stale and complacent because they can be, being the only show in town. If TNA wasn’t run by a bunch of idiots and actually had money behind them, it would help the business tremendously.

Anyways, some people actually enjoyed the PPV and if you did, good on you. If you enjoy the current product then I am glad someone is. I am just currently not finding any hope for the current product. I think HHH is too involved with everything and the big business aspect of WWE is taking over everything. Why have a good feud when you can have Ziggler trying to sell you a mock title belt?

The WWE could do great things with Punk, Bryan, the Shield, Rhodes and the Wyatt family (Wyatt family is a great gimmick, original and fun to watch), but I fear that the Cena marketing machine and HHH being HHH will bury everyone for the foreseeable future.

The state of the WWE

HHH-triple-h-15089969-1006-793

Please go away. Just….go away.

 

Let’s start this blog off with a bang and discuss some wrasslin! Yes, I watch wrestling and yes you might hate it and think it’s stupid. If you do, the door is on your left. Or the right. I don’t know where I left it to be honest.

The point is, I enjoy wrestling and always will because it is mindless entertainment. Not everything I do needs to be the equivalent of discussing Paradise Lost and what it’s imagery REALLY says about Milton’s thoughts on humanity. Sometimes I just like watching good guys beat up bad guys, or bad guys doing mean things to good guys, and having their differences settled in athletic over the top pageantry fighting.

The part about it I like the most are the story lines. With good in ring wrestling being few and far between at times, at the very least I get enjoyment of seeing how the writers at WWE will set up a storyline, how they will develop a storyline, and how they will ultimately end a storyline. It’s fun to try and guess what they will do and it’s fun to be surprised by what they do.

The problem with WWE lately is that they are doing a god awful job of simple story telling.

The wrestling business was built upon the idea of bad guys vs good guys, and humanity itself has historically enjoyed the story of good vs evil. Yes, there is room for blurred lines, that can always add a fun dynamic, but at the end of the day, there needs to be distinct good guys vs bad guys so the audience can understand and follow along with the story line. It’s fun going to a show and getting ready to cheer the good guy and boo the bad guy. It’s not fun to go to the show and wonder if there will be a light that goes off letting you know who will be bad on the night.

Case in point, the entire WWE roster right now is in some sort of messed up situation where there is no clear cut bad guy. Look at the people who should be considered the main bad guys:

HHH

Randy Orton

Stephanie McMahon

Vickie Guerrero

Brad Maddox

All five of these people have done actions that could be taken as good and bad.

HHH – Buries Bryan, demeans him, orders him beat up, then turns around and goes after Heyman and makes his life miserable. This is weird because Bryan is a huge face, and Heyman a huge heel, so it makes no sense that HHH is being both good and bad. This confuses the audience.

HHH also needs to stop trying to be the “cool” bad guy, just play the role of a straight up classic villain. He gave himself the upper hand over Bryan for what, 3 months straight? He beat or had Bryan beat up at the end of so many shows that it became boring. Not only did that bury Daniel Bryan and stop his momentum, it also made the WWE title irrelevant as they held the title in flux during this stupid story line. Bryan’s only retaliation? He spray painted a car! OH MY GOD! He spray painted a car! What revenge!

In the old days of Austin vs McMahon (which is what this story line was based around, let’s not pretend otherwise), Austin got the upperhand on McMahon some of the time. This made it interesting as you would tune in every week to see who would win that weeks battle. During this storyline, Bryan has basically made out to be a little bitch and all you watched for was to see when he would be triple power bombed by the Shield. Yawn.

HHH has to paint a clear line of him being a bad guy. He has to stop getting the verbal upper hand on people. He has to stop trying to get people to like him for being a cool bad guy (like the people did with The Rock back in the day). Just be a villain. HHH has made one of the hottest guys in the company (Daniel Bryan) boring, and has somehow made the Big Show the guy in the spotlight. 42 year old Big Show. The face of the WWE good guys in the WWE.

Sigh.

Stephanie McMahon:  She has played the more traditional role of the heel out of the two, but even she has wandered from the evil lines. At one point she went head to head verbally with main bad girl AJ Lee, which again, why do that? Why blur lines?

Vickie Guerrero: Again, she usually does heel stuff, but then there she is punishing Del Rio randomly one night. Again, blurring the lines. STOP THIS.

Brad Maddox: Same thing as the others, some nights he is doing the bad guy stuff, other nights he is throwing Orton into a handicap match. It’s just plain stupid at this point.

Randy Orton: Arguing with McMahon’s and the Shield at times doesn’t make him the clear cut bad guy he should be. Also, he is being shoved in the back ground while HHH does all the talking. This has made Randy Orton a boring pawn in all of this.

I don’t know if the WWE got really on board with John Cena’s mixed reactions and felt that the blurred lines of crowd support was the wave of the future, but it is not. Stop complicating things. Make it simple. Give the crowd someone to boo and someone to cheer. That’s all you have to do. You do not need an entire roster of John Cena reactions.

The current storyline just feels like yet another situation set up for HHH to be in the spotlight. When he gets on the mic he talks. And talks. And talks. And talks for so long that it usually drowns any momentum any segment had. He is so intent upon looking more verbally clever than anyone else that he rarely gives the good guy the upper hand in any exchanges. This makes things very boring. It was not worth 3 months of HHH getting Bryan triple power bombed just so Big Show could punch him once.

Not that it should be a surprise, mind you. This is the same man that took Punk’s infamous pipe bomb phase, a time when even mainstream media was talking about wrestling again, the hottest angle in years, and somehow managed to turn that storyline into a HHH vs Kevin Nash match.

How do you go from hottest angle in years to old HHH vs old Kevin Nash? That’s just insane.

Anyways, I doubt much will change in WWE, but those are just my thoughts on the current product. It feels stale and I find myself reading recaps and skipping through the PVR of the show more and more. I hope they turn it around, but I feel like we are going to be stuck with The Authority for a long time.

PS. The only way to save this stupid Authority storyline is to bring Shane McMahon back on behalf of Daniel Bryan. So help me god if they randomly bring back Vince to be the guy who feuds with HHH….